Death and dying. How losing loved ones helped me find my way.

Ever since 2005 I have had a different view of dying. August of 2005 I lost my father at the age of 71 to asbestos cancer AND my best friend who was 43 years old died 2 weeks later of an embolism. It was a surreal time in my life, to say the least, and it took me several years to get my bearings straight.

I acted out in ways I never thought I could (maybe those stories will be shared at another time, but not today) and I became angry.

Angry for quite a long time, in fact.

I pulled away from loved ones and withdrew into myself.

I was punishing myself and others around me for my sadness, emptiness and loss.

There is a reason why the experts say never to make any life altering decisions within one year after a death of a loved one. No sweeping moves, just hold tight. Wait it out. Think it out. Breathe it out.

What could I do? How was my life going to look?

It would never be the same since my dad and Greg were now gone from me PHYSICALLY but I can tell you, spiritually they are still with me. I can especially feel their presence around me now that I have quieted my mind. Taken the time for myself to get back to the ground of who I am and what I want in my life… who I want to be, who I want to surround myself with.

My vision is now clear and I feel them more than I did when they were physically sitting in front of me. Why?

Because then I was too locked in my own world to appreciate them and their wonderfulness because I was running my own crazy hectic life.

They are now my guides (as they always were) but now I can feel their presence because I can see and feel again.

All due to quieting my mind and slowing down my energy so that I can be PRESENT in my own life.

How have I done that?


Through meditation, mindfulness, yoga (the 5 rites), Zumba, walking in the fresh air, learning new breathing techniques, making better eating choices for my life and my health, learning about Tapping, mentally choosing to say loving messages to myself instead of hurtful, snide comments, choosing to let go of outcomes that I am not in control of and never have been, living more in the NOW instead of always thinking about what WILL possibly happen and I set myself up for emotional success by actively surrounding myself with proactive loving friends and eliminating the negative things as much as possible.

Because the success in my life IS UP TO ME. ALL OF IT.

I worked for it.

I never dreamed of success. I worked for it.

I take full accountability for my life and what I choose to say and do. It is no one else’s job to take care of me and no one else’s job to fix, manage, and control me and my outcomes. It is MINE to own. Just like its YOURS to own.

Do you?

If you want to learn more ways to improve your life, if you want to share thoughts and ideas, if you need HELP please reach out to me and I will help you.

If you want to FEEL again and stop the rat race of running and gunning all the time and you want to be able to FEEL your loved ones WHILE YOU STILL CAN… while they are still here, reach out and let’s start the work.

YOU have to be the one to reach out to me because when you finally take the step to choose to improve your own life by working with me as your Life Coach, then you will also allow and accept the magic to happen.

Change happens through ACTION not through thought.

Please go to the first page of my website and OPT IN to be added to my newsletters which I only send to people who are on my email list. I will be sharing lots of tips and tricks of things to try for yourself to improve your life… things I do not share here. 🙂

Best to you today and always.

S. Elof Nilsson

Me and my beloved father in the family home in Sedgewood Club.

Gregory Paul Donelson

Sweet Greg Donelson.


P.S. Next week I will be spending Monday through Sunday at my Stress and Self Esteem Coaching education! I will be making a shorter weekly post on-site (assuming there is WIFI).  I am looking so forward to learning more about Mindfulness, Qi Gong, and how to help others improve their self esteem. All are tools that I will share with YOU during our coaching sessions! Yippiii!

P.P.S. Here is a source for you to look at if you are wondering what the 7 stages of grief are. I felt more like I had 70 stages of grief, alas, here they are….