Women and Money: Are you living with your head in the sand?

Women and Money

This topic is a hot potato and I love me a hot potato! Literally and figuratively. I am a Swede, after all! 🙂

I have shared my money shame story with you already … how I had “woken up” to myself and my ex-husband living in a ton of credit card debt and how we got ourselves out of it. (See my blog post from November 2019 “The Truth be Told Series” – Money Shame and my own money story).

Living with my financial head in the proverbial sand is NOT a good place for me. Nor is it for you.

I shared that story with you in the hopes that if you find yourself in the same position today that you can get your head out, look up and start paying attention in your own life too.

Toots, we are not getting any younger and we need to be smart when it comes to understanding our own money, how we spend it, how we save it, how we avoid talking about it and how we can start setting ourselves up for a better future.

Understanding your net worth. Asking your partner/spouse questions about ALL accounts and having a full list of everything that you BOTH maintain and discuss every month and keeping track of everything that comes in to your accounts as well as seeing where you spend money, borrow money (credit cards and loans), transfer money into different accounts to cover bills or random things that “pop up”. It all adds up and it’s all easy enough to find once you know what you are looking for.

Everything is trackable and the time to look at the information is when the statements come in. Auditing your own accounts and statements every month when they come in, that’s the time to find errors and see if anything looks fishy or weird.

Woman, this is some good stuff and it is so freeing to have A FULL picture into your actual financial life.

I have known more women than I care to list that have been screwed over financially because they were too afraid or worried about looking stupid to their bankers, spouses, business partners, family, coaches, whoever!

Women that relied on their partners to handle the money, they opted out of taking an interest in the money side because “they didn’t get it”. And that my dear was exactly how it ended. They didn’t get it. You getting me?

These women were not dumb or lazy. They simply opted out of that side, checked out and shut down.

No bueno, darlin’, no bueno.

If this is you, what do you do about it?

This is a good place to start. Simply start with a list.

– Get a piece of paper and write down all of your bank accounts, savings and checking accounts and balances.
– Ask your partner/spouse for a list of all of their bank accounts. Balances (do this when you are getting along, it makes it easier).
– Write a list of all credit cards. Ask your spouse for their list as well.
– Make a list of all loans. House, cars, business, personal, school, tax loans, Any person or business that you have to pay back. Ask your partner for theirs.
– Make a list of any stocks, investment vehicles, any insurance policies you have. Same with your spouse or partner.
– Write down what money comes IN to your accounts every month (pay checks, interest, dividends, reimbursement from loans that others are paying you back, etc). Same goes for your partner/spouse.


Ask if they have money anywhere that you don’t know about. Sometimes just asking this question will surprise them enough to tell you something that you had no idea about but ASK the question (again, when you are getting along).

This is a place to start.

By knowing everything about your current financial picture – what’s coming in and what’s going out –  you will be so much further ahead than so many women, it isn’t even funny.

And no, it really isn’t funny. It’s painful to think of how many women are being taken advantage of every day in this world and I will not be party to that!

We MUST help each other. We MUST teach each other if we know things that can help others. We MUST raise each other up to ALL be equal and have a fair chance to create a secure financial future for ALL of us and our families.

I am no financial specialist but I know how to get my head on straight after ignoring my spending habits too long.

Oh, and if you are a spender and you like to use everything you have every month and start over with every pay check,  please write to me.

Please stop that.

That’s a money block and that is something you may not recognize as a block and think that’s the way it has to be because that’s what you think you deserve or that’s the way you grew up.

Is it enough for you? If not, let me know. We can work through that!

You deserve it.



** This photo was captured at a moment where my husband was in his own world and I like to imagine that he was envisioning us walking in a rally for the EQUALITY of ALL humans and ALL beings. YES, Thomas… in your Abraham Drinkin’ t-shirt and your FIGHT THE POWER stance! HA! I LOVE IT!! **